Knock Knock Jokes Will Make You Tons Of Cash. Here's How!
Knock Knock Jokes Will Make You Tons Of Cash. Here's How!
Is it true that cannibals don'
t eat clowns because they taste funny?
What kind of pig can you ignore at a party?
A wild bore.
Wha
t kind of murderer has fiber?
A cereal killer.
A man walking dow
n the streets sees another man with a very big dog. One man says
to the other, "Does your dog bite", the man replies "No my dog doesn't" The man pats the dog
and has his hand bitten off, "I thought you
said your dog didn't bite" said the injured man.
"Tha
ts not my dog", replied the other.
Q: What's the difference between a shoping trolley and a University vice chancellor?
A: You fill them both up with as much food and alcohol you can, but it's only the shopping
trolley that has a mind of its own.
Q. How do you catch a polar bear?
A. You cut a hole in the ice and you put peas all round the edge and when the polar bear
comes along and stops for a pea, you kick it in the ice hole.
Why do Marxists like fruit infusions?
Because all proper tea i
s theft!
What was born to succeed?
A budgie with a blunt beak.
Three budgies in a cage, one on the top perch, one on the middle and one on the
bottom perch.
Which Budgie owns the cage?
The one on the bottom perch, the other two are on higher
perches.
0
what do you call a fly with no wings?
a walk.
What do you call a teacher with no arms, no legs, and no body?
The Head...
Q: Why should you never iron a four leaf clover?
A: You should never press your luck!
What's ET short
for?
Because he's got little legs.
An
--
year
--
old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard.
She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?"
The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but
decides that if she is old enough to ask the qu
estion, then she
is old enough to get a straight answer.
He proceeded to tell her all about the 'birds and the bees'. When
he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with
her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, "Why did you ask
this q
uestion?"
The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner
would be ready in just a couple of secs."
Did you hear about the ice
--
cream man, he was found dead in his ice
--
cream van,
covered in chocolate sauce and hundreds
--
and
--
thousands? Th
e police said that he had
?topped? himself.
What lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes? A nervous wreck.
Two cannibals are sitting around eating a clown. One clown says to the other, "Does
this taste funny to you?"
A piece of straig
ht, clean string goes into a bar and orders a gin and tonic. The barman
serves the drink, the string downs it and walks out. Ten minutes later a dirty, twisted, ragged
piece of string walks into the bar. "Here
--
are you that piece of string that was here t
en
minutes ago?" asks the barman
--
"No" replies the string "I'm a frayed knot"
there are these two sausages sizzling in a frying pan. the one turns to the other and
says "gees, it's hot in here" and the second one turns around and goes "AAAAH!, a ta
lking
sausage".
0
Q
--
what did the grape say when the elephant trod on it?
A
--
Nothing, it just gave a little wine.
A man walks into a bar and is about to order a drink when he notices Van Gogh playing
the fruit machine. He calls over, "Hey, Van
Gogh! Want a drink?" and Van Gogh replies, "No
thanks. I've got one 'ere."
t eat clowns because they taste funny?
What kind of pig can you ignore at a party?
A wild bore.
Wha
t kind of murderer has fiber?
A cereal killer.
A man walking dow
n the streets sees another man with a very big dog. One man says
to the other, "Does your dog bite", the man replies "No my dog doesn't" The man pats the dog
and has his hand bitten off, "I thought you
said your dog didn't bite" said the injured man.
"Tha
ts not my dog", replied the other.
Q: What's the difference between a shoping trolley and a University vice chancellor?
A: You fill them both up with as much food and alcohol you can, but it's only the shopping
trolley that has a mind of its own.
Q. How do you catch a polar bear?
A. You cut a hole in the ice and you put peas all round the edge and when the polar bear
comes along and stops for a pea, you kick it in the ice hole.
Why do Marxists like fruit infusions?
Because all proper tea i
s theft!
What was born to succeed?
A budgie with a blunt beak.
Three budgies in a cage, one on the top perch, one on the middle and one on the
bottom perch.
Which Budgie owns the cage?
The one on the bottom perch, the other two are on higher
perches.
0
what do you call a fly with no wings?
a walk.
What do you call a teacher with no arms, no legs, and no body?
The Head...
Q: Why should you never iron a four leaf clover?
A: You should never press your luck!
What's ET short
for?
Because he's got little legs.
An
--
year
--
old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard.
She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?"
The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but
decides that if she is old enough to ask the qu
estion, then she
is old enough to get a straight answer.
He proceeded to tell her all about the 'birds and the bees'. When
he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with
her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, "Why did you ask
this q
uestion?"
The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner
would be ready in just a couple of secs."
Did you hear about the ice
--
cream man, he was found dead in his ice
--
cream van,
covered in chocolate sauce and hundreds
--
and
--
thousands? Th
e police said that he had
?topped? himself.
What lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes? A nervous wreck.
Two cannibals are sitting around eating a clown. One clown says to the other, "Does
this taste funny to you?"
A piece of straig
ht, clean string goes into a bar and orders a gin and tonic. The barman
serves the drink, the string downs it and walks out. Ten minutes later a dirty, twisted, ragged
piece of string walks into the bar. "Here
--
are you that piece of string that was here t
en
minutes ago?" asks the barman
--
"No" replies the string "I'm a frayed knot"
there are these two sausages sizzling in a frying pan. the one turns to the other and
says "gees, it's hot in here" and the second one turns around and goes "AAAAH!, a ta
lking
sausage".
0
Q
--
what did the grape say when the elephant trod on it?
A
--
Nothing, it just gave a little wine.
A man walks into a bar and is about to order a drink when he notices Van Gogh playing
the fruit machine. He calls over, "Hey, Van
Gogh! Want a drink?" and Van Gogh replies, "No
thanks. I've got one 'ere."
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